


To Accustom To Nurture

by babybloo



Series: Nurtureverse [1]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Abusive Parents, Abusive Sonia Kaspbrak, Accidents, Adult Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Age Regression/De-Aging, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Daddy!Richie, Diapers, Domestic Fluff, Eddie Kaspbrak Lives, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak Needs A Hug, Eddie Kaspbrak is a Mess, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Established Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Established Relationship, Fix-It, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Married Couple, Married Life, Mentioned Bill Denbrough, Mentioned Myra Kaspbrak, Mentioned Sonia Kaspbrak, Mentioned Stanley Uris, Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy, Non-Sexual Age Play, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon Fix-It, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier Takes Care of Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier is a Good Significant Other, Soft Eddie Kaspbrak, Soft Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Soft Richie Tozier, Sonia Kaspbrak Can Step on a Lego, Sonia Kaspbrak's A+ Parenting, Wetting, caregiver!Richie, diaper change, little!Eddie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:09:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24514393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babybloo/pseuds/babybloo
Summary: After defeating Pennywise, Richie and Eddie are now free to enjoy their lives together as loving husbands.Eddie's traumas still haunt him, though. This prompts the couple to try age regression as a coping mechanism, with Eddie regressing and Richie taking on the role of his caregiver.However, regressing proves to be a challenge for poor Eddie.Luckily, Richie is there to help, determined to give Eddie the care and nurture he's been denied throughout his life.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Series: Nurtureverse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2179215
Comments: 23
Kudos: 132





	1. Richie Learns His Role

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: The age regression in this story is completely non-sexual. It is being used as a coping mechanism, NOT a kink. So, if you're looking for a kink story, you are not going to find it here. 
> 
> With that out of the way, thank you SO much for clicking on my story! I hope you enjoy it!

Eddie Kaspbrak never had a daddy. 

At least, not by his husband Richie Tozier’s definition. 

For the first five years of his life, Eddie did have a dad. Was he a good dad? Richie doesn’t know for sure; he’s never met the man. But, he never heard much about him from Eddie, so Richie supposes he was. 

To an outsider, this may seem like a strange, perhaps even contradictory, line of reasoning. Richie has considered this. Then he remembered the number of times he’s heard about Eddie’s other parent. So he decided to stick with it. 

Even then, Eddie’s dad was by no means a daddy. He sadly passed away before he could be Eddie’s daddy. 

As Richie would oh-so eloquently word it, a daddy is more than a bloke who hit the right target with his squirt gun. A daddy is someone who takes their needy innocent in their arms and gives them all the nurture, comfort, and patience in the world. Most importantly though, a daddy provides the best, most enriching life possible for those in their care. Between his raunchy jokes and insults, this is the message Richie will repeat to the grave.

Therefore, it shouldn’t be a surprise that Richie is highly enthusiastic about practicing age regression with Eddie. 

It was actually at Eddie’s suggestion, when he plopped some internet articles onto Richie’s lap then watched him read them from the doorway. The word “age regressor” in the first article’s title was circled, captioned with “Me.” The first usage of the word “caregiver” was labeled “You?” Richie would later discover that Eddie had been preparing a long-winded plea for compassion, ready to reassure him that they didn’t have to try it. 

That would prove to be unnecessary though, seeing as Richie followed Eddie’s request for his opinion with “Aww Eds, stop acting like it’s something horrible! There’s nothing wrong with being a lil’ cutie-patootie!” 

For once, Eddie did not protest either being called Eds or a cutie-patootie.

Richie can’t remember the exact number of times Eddie has regressed so far; he guesses it's been around three or four. But he can remember all of those instances occurring on days like today. 

Days where the front door slams as a shrill cry rings out. 

Days where Richie can hear hasty, booming footsteps all the way from his idle basement office. 

Days where the footsteps become quieter and quieter as they trek upstairs, evading Richie’s usual greeting. 

Days where Richie lunges from his chair and darts upstairs, following the cries.

On this particular day, the cries lead Richie up to the master bedroom. As Richie approaches the room, he discovers that these aren’t simple cries. Eddie is wailing and weeping. He wonders what could’ve happened to him. His past regressions have been triggered by a bad day at work, so perhaps this is simply an extreme case of that. 

The usually open door is closed, and Richie immediately takes note of this. On days like today, even the tiniest details are everything. Richie bites his lip as he curls his hand into a loose fist, not keeping his eyes off it as he raises it to the door. He gingerly taps the door two times, then waits for a response. 

The wailing falters for a few seconds, then returns. Richie sighs, rocking a bit on his toes as he waits for some more seconds to pass. Then, he knocks again, this time coupling it with a quick remark, 

“Eds? Can I come in?”

Richie only receives an unintelligible whine in response. So, he tries again, 

“Eddie! Open sesame!” He sing-songs, slowly pushing the door open a crack. 

This earns Richie a shrill “NO!” which is followed by a string of whimpers. Richie’s eyes widen as he swings the door shut, keeping his hand on the doorknob. 

Softening his voice in both volume and tone, he whispers to his husband through the door, “I’ll be right out here. So you may summon me as you please, Lord Edward.”

Usually, he would perform a dramatic bow or curtsy with a phrase like that. But for once, the great Richie Tozier isn’t in the mood to add flair to his jokes.

Richie slides down against the door and onto his knees, slumping down as he sits. He picks at the shag carpet, twisting the fibers between his fingers. His twists become harder with each passing second, the whines and whimpers not showing a single sign of ceasing. Although not every instance like this was the same, Richie always counted on Eddie’s acceptance of his presence. 

For the first time since they’ve started age regression, Richie feels completely hopeless. Which is a major feat, considering the amount of hurdles he’s had to jump as a caregiver.

Since reading the articles, Richie loved the idea of being a caregiver to a regressed Eddie. He loves to take care of Eddie. And he couldn’t think of anything cuter than Eddie being his baby. The man had even gone as far as shopping for baby supplies, spending hours walking down aisles and browsing websites to select the perfect items for his baby boy. 

But despite Richie’s best efforts, Eddie struggled to fully immerse himself in his role. Whenever Eddie came home in a state like this, Richie could effortlessly ease him into his regression headspace. Then, he couldn’t stay fully regressed for more than a few minutes before blushing and frantically apologizing, refusing to look Richie in the eyes. 

Richie was sure there had to be a reason behind this beyond basic embarrassment. But no matter how much he asked Eddie, both in his regression and adult headspace, he was met with denial. 

Richie Tozier wasn’t one to give up, though. The past few regression sessions had been getting better and better, with Eddie staying regressed for even longer. Richie was even able to dress him up in one of the onesies he bought. He was hoping that next time, Eddie could be shown the rest of the supplies, which are currently stashed away in a deserted hall closet. 

This makes Eddie’s current display all the more confusing and discouraging. Eddie had gone from being willing to wear a onesie to not even wanting Richie in the room with him. Richie yanks a piece of string out of the carpet and begins to curl it between his fingers. Each time he curls or uncurls the string, a new question hits him. 

Curl. 

Why didn’t Eddie want him in the room? 

Uncurl. 

What made this time different from all the other times? 

Curl. 

How could he expect Eddie to open up to him now?

Uncurl.

Did he do something wrong? 

Curl.

Is he a bad caregiver? 

Snap.

As Richie uncurls the string once again, it splits in half. He lets out a heavy sigh, blowing the string off his fingers. That manages to pull Richie out of his daydream, so he finally notices that Eddie’s loud wails have silenced into soft, squeaky sobs. Richie pulls himself up and takes a deep breath. 

This is a crucial moment; it can’t be botched. Any blunder could easily undo all the progress they have made. 

Richie grips the doorknob again, turning it slowly, “Eddie? I’m coming in, okay?” He experimentally opens the door a crack and takes a single step through the doorway. Not a single sound of protest is made, much to Richie’s relief. He takes a second step and closes the door behind him, keeping his hand on the doorknob just in case. Eddie squeaks and curls his knees to his chest, hugging his legs. 

Richie holds his hands behind his back, “Hey, Eddie. Are you okay? Can I sit next to you?” He takes baby steps towards the bed, waiting for any sign of resistance from Eddie. Eddie stays silent through every step, until Richie lowers himself to the edge of the bed. This prompts a whine from Eddie as he flips onto his side, facing away from Richie. 

Richie swings his legs onto the bed to lie down beside his husband. He lets a few seconds pass to give Eddie time to adjust, then speaks up again, “Eddie, can you please roll over? So I can see you?”

Eddie doesn’t offer any type of response, so Richie decides to try something. “Baby boy,” he whispers, his voice faint and tender. 

Richie notices Eddie’s shoulders relax as he loosens his grip on his legs. Following Eddie’s lead, he shuffles closer to Eddie, “Hi there, Baby Boy. Can you tell your ol’ pal Richie what’s wrong?” 

Eddie squirms around a bit, letting out a little groan. Richie sits up a bit to get a closer look at his husband, catching a glimpse of Eddie’s crotch. Immediately, he notices the dark spot on his jeans. Richie silently gasps in realization. No wonder Eddie was so anxious around him today. 

Richie coos gently, outstretching an arm towards Eddie, “Oh Baby Boy, did you have an accident?” 

Eddie shrieks and pulls his legs back to his chest. He rocks himself slightly, little whimpers and squeaks escaping his lips. 

Richie pulls his hand back, but still continues to speak, “Hey, hey, hey. Eddie, it’s okay. It’s totally okay, Baby Boy. Accidents happen.” 

Eddie doesn’t respond to Richie in the slightest. Richie glances over at his husband and a chill goes up his spine when he sees Eddie’s eyes. They are completely glazed over. Eddie’s whole body begins to tremble and limpen, sinking into the plush bed. His whimpers and squeaks are replaced by croaks and gasps as his breathing falters. 

Richie pushes himself up to sit and pulls the limp man into his arms. He props Eddie up against his chest and slips his hand into his shirt, rubbing his back. He winces slightly as Eddie’s cold, urine-stained pants touch him, but he doesn’t mind it. All Richie can think about is comforting his baby boy, playing his role. 

“Shh, you’re okay, Eddie. I’ve got you,” Richie coos softly. 

Eddie’s fingers curl around Richie’s shirt, grasping it tightly. Richie presses a kiss to Eddie’s ear, relieved that he is finally accepting his affection. 

But that relief is quickly stifled by a throaty exclamation from Eddie, “My inhaler! Need my inhaler!” 

That’s when Richie’s stomach drops. Eddie hadn’t brought up his inhaler, or his medicine in general, for weeks. Not even during his panic attacks. 

“Eddie, no! You don’t need your inhaler! This isn’t an asthma attack, this is a panic attack,” Richie exclaims, his voice raising and cracking. 

Eddie lets out a shriek in response, squirming in Richie’s arms and repeating, “Need my inhaler! I need my inhaler!”

Richie loosens his grip on Eddie, but doesn’t stop holding him. He takes a deep breath, reminding himself that he needs to stay calm for both of their sakes. Eddie’s hand slips into Richie’s, and Richie grasps it before he can move it. He places Eddie’s hand on his heart, and rests his own hand on top. Immediately, Richie can feel Eddie’s tense body relax at the heartbeat. Eddie rubs Richie’s chest and lets out a small sigh. 

Feeling a little more confident now, Richie whispers to Eddie, “Can you feel my breathing, Sweetheart?” 

He takes some deep breaths, letting his chest rise and fall. Eddie looks up at Richie, which is enough of a yes for him. “Let’s breathe together, Baby.”

Richie continues his deep breathing, prolonging each breath to take in as much oxygen as possible. Eddie attempts to copy Richie’s breathing, but his own breaths are shaky and stifled. 

Nevertheless, Richie gives him praise, “There, just like that. You’re doing great, Eddie.” Richie caresses Eddie and delivers more praise, not stopping his heavy breaths as he does so. 

He only stops them when Eddie is finally replicating them crisply and clearly. By then, Eddie has sat himself up completely, but his head still hangs low. Richie props himself up a little more, then places his hand right under Eddie’s chin. 

Lifting Eddie’s chin up, Richie offers him a warm smile, “How about you be my baby boy for the afternoon,” he tries hopefully. 

Eddie shakes his head, darting his eyes down to his lap. 

Richie frowns slightly, furrowing his eyebrows. The questions from earlier come flooding back to him, one by one, each one hitting him harder. 

Curl. 

Why didn’t Eddie want him in the room? 

Uncurl. 

What made this time different from all the other times? 

Curl. 

How could he expect Eddie to open up to him now?

Uncurl.

Did he do something wrong? 

Curl.

“Eddie, am I a bad caregiver?”

Snap.

Eddie finally looks up at him, his eyes glittering and his lip quivering. Now it’s Richie’s turn to look away. Did he really just let that slip out? He squeezes his hands together. How could he be so stupid?

Before Richie can think of a response, Eddie finally speaks up, “No, Rich, you’re not. At all. You take such good care of me. You always have.”

“Caring is my middle name!” Richie winks, giving Eddie some finger guns. But he puts his hands in his lap upon seeing Eddie’s lack of laughter. 

“You’re not a bad caregiver. I...I…” Eddie is cut off by a hiccup, “I’m just a bad regressor.” Fresh tears build up in Eddie’s eyes. 

Richie’s heart shatters into pieces. He shifts himself forward so he’s closer to Eddie, “No, no, nope! No more crying! This is a no tears zone! Any tears found in your possession will be confiscated by the Los Angeles police!”

Eddie can’t help but playfully roll his eyes and let out a small chuckle. His tears continue to run down his cheeks, though. 

Richie wipes them away with his thumb, sighing, “Sweetheart, please. You’re not a bad regressor.”

“Yes I am!” Eddie cries, leaning his cheek into Richie’s touch. “Trying age regression was all my idea. And I can’t even do it right. I just end up suddenly stopping and crying!” 

He sobs and hiccups, crinkling his eyes shut, “And-And you’re always asking me why, trying to help. But I…” 

Eddie is cut off by a hoarse cough, prompting Richie to reach and pat his back.

“See? You’re always taking care of me. Always. And I love it. But when you take care of me as a caregiver, well, it’s different. Don’t get me wrong, I still love it. I want it. It’s...it just...it feels weird.”

That’s when it hits Richie. 

Eddie Kaspbrak never had a daddy. 

“I’m sorry, I’m not making any sense right now. I don’t know how to explain it,” Eddie rambles, rocking himself back and forth. 

Richie shakes his head, “No, I get it. I think I finally get it.” 

Eddie looks up, locking eyes with Richie, “Really? Cause I don’t even get it.”

“Really. I swear Eds, I, like, had an epiphany. I feel fucking spiritual,” Richie insists, “I’m like the Buddha.”

Eddie rolls his eyes and sighs, muttering, “Alright, Buddha, lay it on me.” 

Richie crosses his legs and places his hands on his knees, coupling his best meditation pose and voice, “Come, mortal, allow me to grant you my wisdom.” 

Although he wouldn’t admit it, Richie was quite a bit desperate to stall. For all he knew, his “epiphany” could be incorrect, perhaps even insulting. Could he explain it well? Could he even explain it at all?

With a small snort, Eddie bites back a smirk as he says, “Rich, you’re stalling.”

Shit, he’s caught on. 

Richie taps his fingers against his knee; he supposes he has no choice but to say it. Before he can question himself again, Richie looks down at his lap and finally allows himself to speak.

“I think that my caregiving feels weird to you ‘cause, well, it’s new to you. Like, entirely new. Most people get this type of care when they’re kids, from their parents or whatever. But your bitch of a mother pumped you full of placebos, forced you to cling to her, put her needs over yours. She didn’t care for you or nurture you. Then you married Myra, who was basically your mom but less wrinkly. So you still never got that type of care. Beluga 1 and Beluga 2 didn’t do shit for you. It’s probably why you wanna use age regression as your coping mechanism. It’s also why it feels so weird for you. I mean, there’s the whole being embarrassed thing too, but I think this is the main reason.”

Richie takes a deep breath, biting the inside of his cheek. He glances up to catch Eddie’s reaction, only to discover thicker tears running down the smaller man’s cheeks. Swallowing harshly, Richie looks back down at his lap. 

“Shit, Eddie, I’m sorry, I was being a dumbass. That-”

“No, you weren’t,” Eddie cuts him off, wiping his tears with the back of his hand.

“Really? Well, there’s a first,” Richie darts his head up, smiling softly.

Eddie giggles a little through his tears, “You were actually..damn...you were spot on. I felt that. I knew that. I just couldn’t put it into words.” 

Frowning, Eddie adds, “Sorry about all the crying, it was just hard to hear. Especially the part about Myra. Richie, she’s…she’s…” He takes a shaky breath, “She’s the reason I regressed before my panic attack. And why…this happened.” He gestures to his damp crotch.

Richie huffs. He had forgotten about Eddie’s accident. Now that he knows Myra had something to do with it, it’s even worse. He takes a deep breath as his cheeks redden slightly. He has to repeat this a few times to calm himself. 

Before Richie can ask for details, Eddie mumbles them, “She called me today when I pulled into the garage…she was talking about how she found some of my medicine in a cabinet, and she started asking me if I was still getting my prescriptions…I swear I thought I blocked her number, I guess I ended up overlooking it ‘cause she hadn’t called me since the divorce…and I got so frantic, I didn’t even notice how badly I had to piss, and…” 

Eddie clicks his tongue and lets out a deep breath. As soon as the last word comes out of Eddie’s mouth, Richie throws his burly arms around his husband. Eddie melts into Richie’s arms, nuzzling himself into his chest. 

Running his fingers through Eddie’s mocha hair, Richie softly coos, “I’m so sorry that happened, Baby Boy. We’ll block her number. And I swear, if she ever tries to contact you again, she can fight me. I’m not afraid of her, she’ll be easier than the clown. All I have to do is push her and she’ll roll away.” 

“Beep beep, Richie,” Eddie responds, his voice muffled. 

“Alright, sorry. Did she bring up your inhaler? Is that why you begged for it during your panic attack?”

Eddie nods his head, and Richie squeezes him tighter, his arms shaking ever so slightly. His heart aches for his husband. 

Although Eddie was triggered directly by Myra today, blocking her number wouldn’t solve everything. Even though Eddie’s mom is dead and Myra is states away, they are still present in Eddie’s life. And they always will be. 

It’s the hardest pill for Richie to swallow, to put it sardonically.

“Eddie…I wish I could make all this shit go away. Your mom, Myra, fucking Pennywise, everything. I love you so fucking much, you deserved better.” 

Eddie looks up from Richie’s chest, locking eyes with him, “You did too…I’m just glad we’re together now. I love you, Richie.” 

Richie pulls Eddie up into a soft kiss, embracing him. Eddie melts into the kiss immediately, smiling into it. He cups Richie’s cheeks, and Richie leans into the touch. Even as the kiss slowly pulls apart, the two men keep their hands on each other. 

A small smile graces Richie’s face. He finally figured out the answers to all his questions.

“I’m so proud of you, Eddie.” He kisses the top of his head, “Thanks for opening up to me. In a family friendly way.”

“Beep beep, Richie,” Eddie responds with a groan. 

“Aww come on! That was a good one!” Richie ruffles Eddie’s hair with a laugh, “People pay me to tell jokes, and I give them to you for free! You should be thankful!”

“Oh yes, I’m thoroughly blessed,” Eddie retorts cheekily, smoothing his hair back down. He tries to hold back his own laughter, but that doesn’t last for long. 

As the laughter dissipates, Eddie reaches down to scratch at his thighs. Richie notices and realizes that Eddie’s soft, sensitive skin must be irritating from the urine. 

He takes Eddie’s free hand in his own and squeezes it gently, whispering to him, “Now that we’ve actually found out why regressing is hard, do you think you’re ready to try it again? I wanna finally give you the care you deserve.”

Still scratching, Eddie hesitates before finally murmuring back, “I don’t know…I feel kinda guilty. I’ve already given you a hard time with regressing, and besides, it shouldn’t be your responsibility to care for me anyways.”

Richie hugs Eddie’s hand to his chest. He rubs the back of Eddie’s hand and shakes his head, “Don’t feel guilty, Eddie. I forbid it. It’s okay that you didn’t regress easily. We know why now, so we can fix it. And I don’t wanna care for you because I feel like it’s my responsibility. I wanna care for you because I enjoy it. I’ve spent years caring for myself, I love getting to finally take care of someone else. Someone I love. And you care for me too, in different ways.”

Richie can see Eddie melting as he speaks. A grin tugs at Eddie’s cheeks, which have turned a sweet, light pink. When he’s done, Eddie throws his arms around Richie once again, burying his face in Richie’s shoulder. 

“I love you. I love you so, so much.”

Richie squeezes him back once again, a grin of his own forming, “I love you too, Eddie.”

They let the moment linger for a while, holding each other and reveling in the bliss. 

That is, until Eddie meekly whispers, “Can we please try age regression today? We don’t have to if-”

Richie’s whole face immediately lights up. 

“Of course!” Richie squeals, hugging Eddie tighter. “Of course we can try it today! Maybe we can try more of the stuff I bought for you!”

Eddie pulls away in surprise, “You bought me more stuff? Like, more onesies?”

Richie’s eyes widen when he realizes that he had never told Eddie about the rest of the supplies. In all his excitement, he kind of overlooked that fact. 

He nods, “Yeah, there’s onesies. And other stuff too. I’ve been collecting baby things for you, for when you were more comfortable regressing. Kinda got way too excited ‘bout it, I swear I became one of those pregnant white suburban moms.” 

Richie lets out a light chuckle, which falters when he sees Eddie’s face. His husband is blushing once again, chewing on his bottom lip. 

He’s overwhelmed. Way to go, Trashmouth. 

Then, Eddie squeaks with a small smile, “Stuffed animals?”

Richie feels his heart flutter, unable to hold back his coos. The lack of vocabulary and dantier voice are enough to prove that Eddie is beginning to regress. 

“Of course I got you stuffed animals, what kind of caregiver do you think I am?” Richie gives Eddie a wink, which earns him a small squeal. 

Since Eddie isn’t completely in his regression headspace, Richie decides to quickly say something that adult Eddie would understand better, “Eddie, while we’re trying out all the new stuff, you think you could try leaning into your discomfort a lil’ bit? Don’t worry, if there’s something you absolutely hate, just say it and it’s done. That’s a promise. But, if you feel weird with something you like, maybe try pushing through it? So that this all starts to feel more normal. Does that make sense?”

Richie isn’t all too pleased with his solution. He knows Eddie may not enjoy it all too much at times. But, it’s the best solution he can think of. And the only solution, if he’s being honest. 

Richie can see Eddie staring at him intensely, listening to him intently, processing every word. When he is done, Eddie gives Richie a serious nod. 

“Thank you, Baby Boy,” is all Richie can think of to say at this point. He can’t stop smiling. Finally, he has made a major breakthrough with Eddie. A breakthrough he had been waiting on for what felt like forever. The bespectacled man’s eyes twinkle as he thinks of all the new things he can try with his baby boy, all the ways he can nurture him and enjoy him. He just loves his husband so much; he can’t wait to finally, truly delve into this dynamic with him. 

Then, he notices Eddie frantically scratch himself again, with tiny mewls and whines and leaving his lips. 

Immediately slipping into his role, Richie holds his arms out for Eddie, “C’mere, Baby. Lemme hold you.”

Eddie crawls across the bed over to Richie, making Richie’s heart melt yet again. Swooning, Richie lifts him up and cradles him, which isn’t too hard considering their size difference. Peering at Eddie’s wet jeans, Richie thinks of something that he had been wanting to try with him. Something that he remembers Eddie requesting during their first time discussing regression. 

Diaper changing. 

It would be the perfect first activity for them. If Eddie could make it through being changed, then much of the other stuff would be easier in comparison. Richie had bought all the supplies, and even watched a tutorial on YouTube. The only element he has yet to acquire is Eddie’s clearance. 

All Richie can do now is hope that Eddie will truly be willing to lean into his discomfort, for the sake of increasing his comfort. 

Taking a deep breath, Richie gently kisses Eddie’s forehead and whispers to him.

“How about we get you cleaned up, Baby Boy?”


	2. Eddie Learns His Role

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the prolonged lapse between postings. I hope this chapter is worth the wait! 
> 
> A special thank you to everyone who left Kudos, Comments, and Bookmarks on the first chapter.

Eddie Kaspbrak never had a daddy. 

But he sure as hell wishes he did. 

For the majority of Eddie’s life, this desire was an enigma. An unexplainable, incomprehensible mystery, which left Eddie wondering why he was always stalked by the feeling of eternal absence. Which seemed to get closer with the sight of children smiling, laughing, hanging off their parent’s hand, then grip his shoulders when the parent smiled back. 

Eddie wanted nothing more than clarity and resolution.

Clarity came to him through age regression. Whenever he let himself regress, putting himself in Richie’s care, Eddie finally realized what he was missing. 

The realization only grows stronger with each of Richie’s acts of pure care. Acts like coaxing Eddie into his arms and holding him, as he just did. Richie always seemed to be holding Eddie, which never went unnoticed or unappreciated. But Eddie had never been held like this, with one side against Richie’s chest and both arms draped around him. It reminds him of a baby being cradled. 

Eddie can’t help but close his eyes and lean against Richie’s chest. His mind, normally grounded in an unfortunate reality, drifts away to his repressed idealism. For once, Eddie can take himself to a time, a place, where he feels blithe and blissful. He can leave his sorrows at the door and let Richie, a man he loves and trusts like no other, take the lead. 

Then, he hears Richie’s suggestion. A simple, inevitable suggestion after all that’s just taken place.

“How about we get you cleaned up, Baby Boy?”

And that’s all it takes to push Eddie in a state of mind he hates more than any other, but somehow always ends up in eventually. When he is deep in his headspace, but not quite deep enough to fully embrace it. 

When he can’t ignore the fact that it’s not normal, and doesn’t feel normal.

He’s deep enough in his headspace to want Richie to clean him up. Hell, he’s deep enough to be unsure as to whether he can do it himself. But Eddie’s not deep enough to waive the impending embarrassment and guilt from being an adult who is making another adult clean his urine. 

Either way, Eddie wants nothing more than to escape the irritating, saturated hell of his urine-soaked clothing. Since he can’t bring himself to produce a verbal response, he simply continues to scratch and whine, in the hopes that Richie will understand. Richie always seems to understand. 

This moment is no exception. 

Eddie is suddenly hoisted up further, prompting him to throw his arms around Richie’s neck with a high-pitched squeak.  


Richie lightly bounces Eddie in his arms, “Shh, it’s okay Eds. It’s okay, it’s okay, shh…”

Eddie doesn’t know if it’s Richie’s words, or Richie’s tone, or Richie’s bouncing, or simply Richie. But he immediately relaxes, letting out a prolonged exhale and fluttering his eyes closed. Eddie relaxes to the point where he doesn’t even notice as he’s transported across the house. 

He doesn’t notice until he hears the squeak of a door coupled with his husband’s attempt at imitating Monty Hall. 

“Soooo, Eds, would you like to see what’s behind Door Number Two?”

Eddie lets out a small giggle and nods, still eased up. He blinks his eyes open, widening them as soon as he comprehends what he’s looking at. 

The first item he sees is the large, faux fur blanket, easy on the eyes with its pastel pink color. Eddie’s favorite color. He eyes it longingly, wanting nothing more than to bury himself in that barrage of fluff. The sight of it doesn’t faze him in the slightest; it could be used for anything, not just age regression. 

Then, he notices the three pacifiers placed elegantly on top, each in a different shade of pink. His cheeks turn each of those shades within seconds. From there, his eyes bounce around the closet, spying a variety of other items which are obvious in their purpose. 

A display of outfits hung across the closet, looking like an overgrown Buy Buy Baby collection. 

A stack of colorful board game boxes, none of which have a minimum age higher than four. 

A sippy cup with Disney princesses printed on it, mature alongside its alternative: a plastic pink baby bottle. 

A trail of stuffed animals, which leads Eddie’s eyes to the corner of the closet. Waiting for him there are perhaps the most enfeebling items of the bunch. 

A package of diapers, sized for an adult but patterned for a baby, wipes, powder, and rash cream, all placed on top of a slick, waterproof mat. 

As if Eddie’s face wasn’t already red enough. After seeing those diaper changing supplies, he could rival a maraschino cherry. 

“See anything you like?”

As he leans more of his body weight against Richie’s chest and scans the closet, Eddie absentmindedly points to the blanket. He can’t help himself; it looks so soft!

The petite man can see Richie squinting as he tries to follow Eddie’s finger. Eddie tries to tell Richie what he wants, but the words seem to get swallowed when he opens his mouth. 

Then, Richie’s eyes widen, “Oh, the blanket! You want the blanket! I’m right, aren’t I?”

Eddie nods, pointing more intensely. 

This prompts Richie to whoop in celebration, “Fuck yeah!” He gasps as soon as he realizes what he said, “Oh sh...shoot, sorry about that. Don’t repeat that word, Eds. Ever. It’s a bad word, you hear me? A bad, bad, bad word.”

Eddie giggles, a small smile tugging at his cheeks. His smile grows when Richie starts giggling as well. He treasures the sight of Richie’s laughter; his whole face seems to smile whenever he’s laughing. Eddie gets sidetracked admiring Richie, so he doesn’t notice as his husband picks the blanket up. 

He only notices when the faux fur is rubbed against his cheek, “Who’s softer? You or the blanket?”

Eddie immediately clamps his hand around the blanket, nuzzling his cheek back against the fluff. 

He lets out a few little mewls before finally finding some semblance of a voice, “The blanket...”

Suddenly, Eddie feels a cheek nuzzle against his hair, “Nope! You are way softer! No offense to that blanket, but it can’t compete with the embodiment of softness that is Eddie Spaghetti!” 

Grinning from ear to ear, Eddie nuzzles back against Richie’s cheek. His eyes crinkle shut. To this man in this moment, nothing exists anymore, save for a fluffy blanket and his husband’s cutesy quips. 

It doesn’t last long, though. Before he knows it, Eddie is lifted off Richie’s hip and lowered down to the hard mahogany. An involuntary whine slips out of his mouth as the blanket slips out of his fingers. Richie immediately pivots around to face Eddie. Eddie responds with a confused, questioning glance. 

The blanket is lifted up and draped on Eddie’s shoulders, Richie’s hands placed atop, “Sorry Bubs, I need my hands free to carry some stuff. Don’tcha worry, I’ll be holding you again faster than you can say it!” He pats Eddie’s shoulders and goes off. 

Eddie clings back onto the blanket, holding it like a cape. His eyes wander away from Richie and to the assembly line of stuffed animals. He wonders if any of them are as soft as the blanket. Said blanket trailing behind, Eddie lets his curiosity guide him and push him down to his knees. 

As he kneels before the stuffed animals, he counts them, needing to start over twice. Seven in total, Eddie finally concludes. Two bears, two kittens, a poodle, a piglet, and finally, a long-eared bunny. 

The bunny is in Eddie’s arms mere seconds after its discovery. As cute as all the stuffed animals are, he can’t help but be particularly drawn to this one. He’d always wanted a stuffed bunny as a kid. His mother never bought him one, saying that it would simply encourage Eddie to approach the germy, disease-carrying, weak-immune-system-preying rabbits that hopped through their neighborhood. 

But he can have one now. Richie gave him one now. 

“Aww, you make a new friend?” 

Eddie nods frantically, squeezing the bunny closer. He whips his head around, eager to show it off to Richie. That’s when he notices what has replaced him in Richie’s arms. He has picked up the diaper changing supplies. 

Oh yeah, he wet himself. That’s something that he has to deal with. That Richie has to deal with. 

Now reminded of the irritating wetness, Eddie whines and scratches his thighs. 

“I know Baby, I know, let’s get that taken care of, yeah?”

For a split second, Eddie feels a rush of desire for Richie’s care. He squeaks and reaches a hand up towards him. Then, he gets a close look at the package of...incontinence products? 

No, he might as well call them what they are. Diapers. 

The package of diapers, then the bunny, then the blanket. Eddie’s limbs turn to jelly. His arm drops, and his legs stay planted in his kneeling position. He doesn’t even reach to scratch. 

Once again, Eddie’s in the dreaded in-between. Richie didn’t even have to say anything this time. All Eddie had to do was take a look around and realize he is giving in to his desires. Desires that Richie can fulfill, but Eddie can’t. And Richie shouldn’t have to either. 

This is where Eddie usually snaps completely out of his headspace, sobbing and apologizing like his life depends on it. He doesn’t dare open his mouth, knowing the aforementioned reactions will spill out. 

“Eds, you still there? Hey...”

Before Eddie knows it, Richie is on his knees, at his eye level. Eddie looks away in shame, almost holding his breath. 

But then, Richie utters a quick phrase, “Do you want a hug?”

Eddie melts into Richie’s arms with a prolonged exhale. Of course he wants a hug. Regardless of his feelings, he can never pass up Richie’s bear hugs. Bear hugs from a bear, Richie would say to make Eddie smile. Richie is quite good at making Eddie smile. 

Through the persistent shame and discomfort, Eddie smiles. He smiles as Richie’s arms squeeze him tighter and tighter. Wanting to keep the smile, Eddie lets his mind wander to their earlier conversation. When Richie told him that he wants to care for him.

Richie shouldn’t have to fulfill Eddie’s desires. But he wants to. Eddie just needs to let him. 

Eddie remembers something else from their conversation, a request from Richie. 

Lean into discomfort. 

That’s all Eddie needs to do. 

“It’s okay Eds, you don’t have to wear these. I’ll just grab you a pair of boxers. Would that be better?”

Eddie shakes his head and lifts his face from Richie’s chest. He glances to his left, where Richie had put down the changing supplies. 

“You want the diapers?”

Eddie nods, his face full of determination. He wants the diapers. And he’s not going to let his dumb feelings keep him back from that. 

Even though he feels somewhat stupid creating that ambition. 

Richie squeezes Eddie once more before standing up. He starts to grab all the supplies again, and Eddie swoops in to take some of them. 

“Thanks Baby, but it’s okay. I’ve got ‘em. You can keep those pretty hands free.”

Eddie shakes his head and manages to meekly muster out, “Wanna hold your hand...”

Of course, wanting to hold Richie’s hand is just a fraction of it. Eddie still can’t fully shake his guilt, no matter how many mental reassurances he gives himself. So he might as well ease it in any way he can, such as helping Richie carry all these supplies. 

Not to mention that carrying diaper changing supplies is a pretty good step towards leaning into discomfort. Eddie learns this as he trudges up the stairs, biting his lip and whipping his head away whenever he dares to peak at the items in his arm. 

As soon as they’re back in the bedroom, Eddie dumps the items on the bed and backs away. 

“Geez Eds, they’re not gonna kill you!” Richie exclaims with a laugh. 

Maybe not literally, Eddie thinks, but metaphorically? Perhaps. 

“Now, let’s roll out the red carpet!” Eddie watches his husband dramatically unroll and fling the red plastic changing pad onto the bed. He can’t help but giggle and playfully roll his eyes at the comical toss. 

“Only the finest plastic and polyester for my baby boy!” Richie says with a little curtsy, “Alright then, how about you lie down for me?”

“Okay...” Eddie has to practically drag his feet along the marble tiles. He haphazardly falls onto his back, adjusting himself on the slick changing pad. 

“A man of few words, you are,” Richie hums, already undoing the zipper on Eddie’s jeans. 

Eddie looks away, knowing that he won’t make it if he exposes his eyes to Richie’s actions. He already feels like he’s reached the peak of embarrassment, but he keeps on reminding himself of his objective. 

Making this eventually feel...well...normal. 

Eddie can’t see this ever feeling normal. But he sure wants it to. 

Richie pulls off Eddie’s soaked pants and boxers, exposing his wet, tender skin to the brisk air. A chill runs up Eddie’s spine, prompting him to hiss. 

“I know Baby, it’s pretty cold in here. The wipes are warm, just hang tight for me. How about you give your bunny a hug? I bet she’s cold too,” Richie croons. 

Eddie nods, weakly hugging the stuffed animal to his chest. He has to admit, hugging the bunny actually felt pretty nice. It’s definitely the right shape and size for hugging; he’s sure Richie thought of that when selecting it. So he gives the bunny a tighter squeeze, letting out a little squeak. 

Then, the baby wipe is swiped against Eddie’s skin. And that prompts a sharp reactionary yelp, “Eep!” He flinches away from the wipe, biting his lip. 

Sure, the wipes are warm, as promised. But no amount of warmth would make the wipes feel fine against Eddie’s red, rashed, blotchy skin. The inevitable outcome of staying in urine-stained clothing for a lengthy period of time. 

“Oh, sorry ‘bout that! I’ll be more careful,” Richie reassures. 

The swipes turn to slow, gentle dabs against the skin. Eddie’s skin still stings with every little touch. 

But even that is nothing compared to knowing that his husband is cleaning up his urine. Eddie clamps a hand over his face, quietly whining.

“Hey, Eds, you doing okay?”

The brunette immediately nods, not wanting his husband to worry. 

“Are you sure? You can tell me if you’re not okay, I won’t be mad,” Richie tries, prompting Eddie to bite his lip in thought. 

Is he feeling okay? Eddie has no idea. How is he feeling? Embarrassed? Perhaps. But that doesn’t quite encapsulate it. Embarrassment is a negativity, a state Eddie wants to escape. And the more Eddie ponders, the more he realizes this isn’t that. Not one bit. 

This is more of a vulnerable state. Yes, Eddie thinks, that’s better. Even then, it’s quite different. Eddie despises vulnerabilities. The poor man spent his whole life being vulnerable, in the hands of Sonia and Myra. Here, lying down before Richie Tozier, the vulnerability has returned. But for once, he doesn’t hate it. 

When he forces himself to look past the shameful elements of the situation, Eddie notices Richie’s sweet, gentle dabs. He notices the comforting warmth of the wipes, which Richie must’ve made an effort to obtain. He notices Richie silently humming Eddie my Love by The Chordettes. 

Maybe, just maybe, there’s something soothing about this vulnerability. 

His free arm cradles the bunny to his chest. He clips one of the bunny’s ears between his fingers and runs them up and down the length. The ears are extremely silky. He grips one of them in a fist. 

“You seem to love that bunny, don’t you? Have you picked out a name yet?”

Eddie shakes his head. He begins to feel a little guilty, lamenting that his bunny has to go nameless.

“Well then, let’s pick one out! Hmm...maybe Pinky? Actually, wait no. Let’s not name it Pinky. I mean, that’d be like us being named Whitey, y’know?”

Eddie snorts, his body relaxing a little bit. He continues to play with the bunny’s silky ears. Then, an idea comes to him.

“How about Silky?” Eddie whispers hesitantly, squeezing the bunny. 

Eddie hears a little gasp, followed by an exclamation from his husband, “Ooh, yes! I love that! Silky it is!”

He grins and lifts his chin with pride, feeling some sense of accomplishment from naming the bunny. 

“Silky, Silky the bunny...” Richie sing-songs. He doesn’t seem to be using any well-known tune, instead opting to make his own. He even goes as far as to dab the wipes to the rhythm. 

Now that Richie seems to have reached peak goofiness, Eddie can’t even focus on his shame. His grin grows wider and wider, until he can’t help but laugh. Too distracted to care, Eddie puts his arm down and opens his eyes. This gives him a perfect view of Richie squirting some rash cream onto his fingers and beginning to coat Eddie’s rashes. 

A detrimental sight, indeed. 

Or at least it would’ve been if Eddie wasn’t oh-so determined to sing along with Richie, making his bunny dance along to the song. 

“Silky, Silky the bun-eeeee~” He holds the final note until his face turns red and Richie tells him to breathe. He bounces a little on the bed, sporting a carefree smile which matches his husband’s. 

“Alright Sinatra, you’re all clean and creamed! Now, let's give you some of this so you don’t chafe.” 

Richie picks up the baby powder and slightly unscrews the lid. The canister seems to explode in response, puffing up a cloud of white powder into Richie’s face. Richie coughs and waves the powder away. 

Eddie laughs and points to Richie’s tacky green and orange button-up, which is now covered in baby powder. 

“Oh yeah, Wise Guy? You think this is funny? Let’s see how you like it!” 

There’s no bite behind Richie’s words, since he’s laughing as well. But before Eddie knows it, Richie’s clapping hands are over him, creating a new cloud of powder. 

Eddie squeals and pushes Richie’s hands away, “S-Stop! Richie!” He grabs his plush bunny by the ears and begins to hit Richie with it. 

Richie jumps back with a dramatic gasp, “Et tu, Silky?”

Eddie nods and cackles, flinging Silky around until Richie surrenders. 

When the happy high from the prior silliness dies down, Eddie realizes that the feelings of weirdness haven’t completely vanished. As Richie powders him, then lifts his ankles to slip a diaper under him, Eddie doesn’t feel like he’s having a normal experience. 

He probably never will. Because this isn’t something that would be considered “normal.” 

And that’s okay. 

It’s quite fitting, considering that Eddie’s life hasn’t been normal in the slightest. The scar which extends from his upper chest to his navel is a constant reminder of the fact. 

Eddie’s never felt normal. He still doesn’t feel normal while age regressing. He sometimes feels uncomfortable while age regressing. But when he pushes through it, he feels blissful, ecstatic, fulfilled. And that is more than enough for Eddie. 

“It’s over, Eds! You did it! Now c’mere and lemme hug you!”

Eddie immediately darts up and squishes himself against Richie’s burly chest. He grips onto Richie’s shirt and kisses his neck. 

“How does it feel? The diaper? Is it soft?”

Reminded of the bulky padding he has just been put in, Eddie squirms a little bit. Yes, it does feel soft, and quite comfortable, just as he’s imagined. And best of all, it's a reminder, a symbol, of his new role. A role he’s never gotten to play, and revels in now that he can. 

“Yeah, it is.” Eddie looks up into Richie’s sparkling eyes, “Thank you...thank you so much...I love you...” 

“Love you too, Baby Boy,” Richie whispers in return, kicking all the changing supplies off the bed and onto the floor. For once, Eddie doesn’t chide about Richie’s lack of organization. Instead, he simply flops against Richie, yawning. 

He hears his husband chuckle, “You tired? Wanna take a nap together?”

“Yes please,” Eddie agrees, already lying down and trying to pull Richie with him. Thankfully, Richie follows suit. 

Eddie lays his head on Richie’s chest, toying with the buttons on his shirt. Richie pulls the fluffy pink blanket over the two of them, and Eddie immediately grasps onto it. 

“Here, lemme set a timer so we wake up in two hours. That’ll give us enough time to get ready for dinner with Stan and Bill.”

Eddie groans slightly at the statement. As much as he loves seeing his friends, he hates the idea of having to pause his age regression. 

Richie understands, so once the timer is set, he turns back to Eddie and says, “Don’t worry Eds, as soon as we get back we can do this again. Hell, we can do it for the whole weekend. We’re both off work, so we might as well.”

This earns him a squeal and a tighter hug from an eager Eddie. Richie is the best! Full of excitement and pure love for his husband, Eddie lets a statement slip out before he can comprehend it, “I love you, Daddy!”

He gasps and clamps a hand over his mouth as soon as he realizes what came out of his mouth. Tears already build up as Eddie rambles, “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I saw that on some blogs and...”

“Oh my god, Eddie, shut up!” Richie cries out. Eddie does so instantly. He squeezes Silky close, bracing himself for whatever’s to come. 

“You look like you just saw the clown! I’m not that scary, am I?” Eddie’s chin is lifted up to look Richie directly in the eyes. His tone quiets and softens, “You can call me Daddy if you want. It’s pretty appropriate, cause you’re my baby boy now, yeah?”

Eddie kisses Richie’s cheek, “Yeah!” He smiles the biggest smile that’s ever graced his face. 

The smile stays plastered on Eddie’s face as he falls asleep in Richie’s arms, hugging Silky against his chest. 

Eddie Kaspbrak never had a daddy. Until now. 

After waiting so long, Eddie finally has resolution. It doesn’t fix everything, but it’s a start. The most amazing start Eddie could ever ask for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for reading my story. I hope you liked it! Feedback comments mean the world to me, so please leave one if you can.
> 
> Tumblr: babybloowrites.tumblr.com  
> I am very active on Tumblr and do It roleplays! 
> 
> Have an amazing day everyone! :)


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